Is your child afraid of the dark? How to help them fall asleep

The light goes off and there it is: "Daddy, Mummy, there's something under my bed." Lots of toddlers and preschoolers go through a phase of being afraid of the dark. It's a normal part of growing up. At this age imagination grows fast, and in the dark it suddenly has plenty of room. A coat on the door becomes a giant, a shadow on the ceiling a bat.

The good news: there's a lot you can do. With a steady routine, a little light and plenty of patience, the dark goes back to being at home with the lights off.

As a child, I was absolutely sure the crocodile under the bed was real. What helped was putting a cuddly toy on guard under the bed. Best of all is a cuddly crocodile with a brave name, and the fear is gone in no time.

Eight gentle bedtime tips

1. Take their fear seriously

To your child the fear is real, even if the monster isn't. Listen, name it ("The dark feels scary to you") and stay calm. A child who feels heard relaxes more quickly. Build trust and let your child help come up with a solution.

2. Keep a steady bedtime routine

The same every night: pyjamas, teeth, story, cuddly toy, lamp, kiss. Knowing what comes next gives comfort, and the last step is always warm and light. And leaving a little light on until your child falls asleep is perfectly fine.

3. Have a look together

Walk around the room with the light on, or with a torch. What's that shadow? What's creaking? That way your child discovers for themselves that the dark is the same room as in the daytime.

4. A soft night light

A small, warm light can be very soothing. Use a low-wattage bulb, such as 15 watts, and position the lamp so the light falls softly on the wall. Hartendief lamps hide a picture that only appears when the light comes on. In the Sleepy Moon wall lamp, Bear, Fox and Deer gaze at the stars together, and in the Moonkiss wall lamp, Bear and his friends climb higher and higher to give the moon a kiss. Switching on the lamp becomes a moment to look forward to.

5. Stars on the wall

Stick a few Glow in the Dark Starry Sky Stickers above the bed together. They're soft pastel yellow by day and glow soft green in the dark. Count them before sleep, or find the biggest one.

6. A story with a happy ending

Stories where a character is scared and finds a way through make the fear feel smaller. Try Ghostmouse is afraid or The Moon and the Smallest Lantern.

7. A cuddly toy on guard

Give the cuddly toy a job: it keeps watch all night. Some children love saying goodnight to the moon, the stars or the characters on the wall.
And at Hartendief, Bear is a brave and gentle soul who keeps watch in the room. He feels at home on any wall.

8. Stay close

Leave the door ajar, the landing light on, or say you'll pop back in a minute. Then really do pop back. Do what you promised. That trust makes the next night easier and builds your child's confidence.

What to avoid

• Laughing at the fear or telling your child not to be silly.
• Scary films or stories just before bed.
• Getting grumpy or angry? That doesn't help. (Sounds like someone else could use an early night, too? 😉)

When to ask for help

For most children, fear of the dark passes by itself. If your child is really struggling, sleeping badly or very anxious during the day too, talk to your health visitor or GP.

Frequently asked questions

At what age do children become afraid of the dark?

Many children first become afraid of the dark at around two to three, as their imagination grows. It can also start later, for example after an exciting day or a change such as moving house.

Can a night light stay on all night?

It can, as long as the light is soft. Choose a low wattage, such as 15 watts, and place the lamp so it doesn't shine straight into the eyes. Some parents switch it off once their child is asleep, others leave it on. See what works for your family.

What do I say when my child says there's a monster?

Take it seriously and look together. Shine a torch under the bed and in the wardrobe, and let your child see what's really there. They'll feel supported, and their confidence will grow.

How can a cuddly toy help with fear of the dark?

A cuddly toy gives your child the feeling that they're not alone at night. When the cuddly toy gets a job, such as keeping watch, your child feels protected and falls asleep more easily. That's exactly what helped me with the crocodile under my bed.

Here's how:

• Let your child choose which cuddly toy keeps watch.
• Give it a brave name together, one that sounds strong.
• Give it a fixed spot, for example under the bed or by the door.
• Make it a little ritual: every evening the guard takes up its post before the light goes out.

This turns the fear into a game, and your child learns that they can do something about it themselves.

A sense of security and trust are among the most beautiful things you can give a child. Add a little magic, and your child receives something special to carry through life. That's why, at Hartendief, I've added a touch of magic to our lamps.

I hope these tips have helped a little. Enjoy every stage of your child growing up. It's a special journey and so wonderful that we get to be part of it.